Ugh

So I didn't workout yesterday. I was supposed to start but didn't, so I will start weight training next week and just focus on cardio this week. I really need to stop letting little shit stop me. I haven't been happy with my body for a long time, and it's time I do something about it. Funny thing is most people don't understand because I look fine in my clothes and people normally get my weight wrong at least -15 pounds so I should be happy right? However, I don't like what I see in the mirror. My face is fat, my six pack is covered by a dense layer of fat, and my thighs are too big to fit in my clothes from Japan. I know their are people that would kill to wear a size nine [pants], but I'd rather be a three.  It has nothing to do with the media's standard of beauty. It's just my harajuku fashion taste are easier to satisfy if I'm smaller. You can't wear thigh high socks in public with muffin tops. That's just wrong.

That is Ernestine Shepherd, 75 I think. If she can do it then there are no excuses left in the world outside of death or the truth, which would be you are a lazy complacent fool who has accepted failure and flab. People have always tried to discourage me from lifting not realizing I'm aiming for something like this:

But all they picture is this when they hear bodybuilding:

I need to take control of my body and life before it is too late. But then again it's not like I really give a fuck anymore. I'm really just waiting for some random act of violence to take me out so my family can enjoy the insurance money.